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Maintain your relationship by restoring your connection

November 20, 2014

How often do your connect with your partner, do you ask your partner how their day was? Do you text your partner a thoughtful message during the day to let them know you are thinking of them? Do you make time for your partner and have perspective conversations without distractions and/or interruptions? If you answered yes to these questions, I commend you and your partner for your efforts and encourage you to maintain your connection; however, if you answered no, I encourage you to continue reading.

 

Most would agree that maintaining a relationship is hard work. Maintaining a relationship involves consistent effort and commitment. Therefore, if you do not make your relationship a priority, your relationship may be at risk for neglect.

 

Consider for a moment that your relationship is like a bank account. Like your bank account, in your relationship you make deposits (affection/support), withdraws (ask for what you need) , and check your balance (connection/dates/how are we doing talks). Treating your relationship as a bank account may increase your connection with your partner and sustain your relationship.

 

According to a University of Illinois study on five strategies to revitalize your relationship, “openness, positivity, assurances, shared tasks, and a shared social network are strategies that couples can use to make their relationship better.”

 

Want to make your relationship better? Start by identifying three activities to do with your partner. For example, reunite at the end of the day and talk about how it went, call each other during the work day, or eat breakfast together during the work week. Share the activities you choose with your partner and commit to do one activity together. If you do this, give yourself a point every time you engage in the activity. (Keeping score is only for the purpose of tracking your efforts and not to be competitive with your partner.) What three activities will you commit to? Share them with me below.

 

In summary, relationships take work, a lot of work. Therefore, this week, I encourage you to focus on your connection with your partner. You may be surprised at the results…you and your partner may increase the positive connection of your relationship.

 

Happy connecting!

 

 

Tracy Cooper is a licensed professional counselor and the co-owner of Fit Therapy of Texas, where she helps families, kids, parents, couples, and individuals to reach their goals. She understands the work required to maintain a healthy relationship and enjoys helping couples keep or regain their relationship.

 

 

 

Blog Sources: http://aces.illinois.edu/ and The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PH.D

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