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9 tips that will change the way you deal with conflict.

As a therapist, I teach people how to deal with difficult situations. From family conflict to work conflict, we work together to problem solve each situation.

Brainstorming solutions is helpful in gaining awareness of how we think and feel about the conflict. Unfortunately, most conflict is due to invalidated feelings and misunderstandings. Thus, leading to continued discord and often disinterest in resolving the conflict all together.

Generating solutions and figuring out which solution to implement is often were people get stuck. Most people continue the cycle of conflict due to NOT knowing how to resolve the conflict.

Learn how to prevent or deal with conflict by trying one or all my top nine conflict resolution tips listed here:

  1. The conflict must be acknowledged before it can be managed and resolved. Avoid the temptation to ignore it.

  2. Use clear communication – express your thoughts and feelings clearly. Practice “I” statements. For example, “I feel________because__________when____________.”

  3. Be an active listener – paraphrase, clarify, question.

  4. Identify assumptions – ask yourself "why" on a regular basis. Do not assume another person’s thoughts, ideas or beliefs.

  5. It’s not personal! Slow down and do not let conflict get personal – stick to facts and issues, not personalities.

  6. Focus on actionable solutions – focus on what you are in control of and not on what you are not. Don't fixate on what can't be changed.

  7. Encourage different points of view – insist on honest dialogue and expressing feelings.

  8. Do not blame – encourage ownership of the problem and solution.

  9. Demonstrate respect – if the situation escalates, take a break and wait for emotions to subside.

Tell us below if you tried any of the above tips. If you are in need help processing a difficult situation, we are here to help you. Reach out.

Tracy Cooper is a licensed professional counselor and the co-owner of Fit Therapy of Texas, where she helps couples and individuals reach their goals.

Schedule an appointment here: or email me directly at

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